quotes from cartoons, pt. 7

Somehow it’s been several months since I last wrote on the series.  So now I will continue it, since it’s a good thing.  For some of you, this brings back lots of good memories.  If for whatever reason it doesn’t, then you should watch more cartoons.  It’s really that simple.  Cartoons are not just for kids.  (Well, some are, but those are best ignored by all.)  Anyway, let’s get started…

I’m afraid my sidekicks are copping an attitude. ~ Space Ghost

Whoa, Space Ghost, man!  Crack a window, will ya! ~ Bobcat Goldwaith, on Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant. ~ Calvin

We demand that you bring this planet up to code! ~ Calvin and Hobbes

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. ~ Bart Simpson, on the chalkboard

Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’ ~ Homer Simpson

I’m sorry for making gravy in the bathtub. ~ Homer Simpson

Marge: Homer, I think we have someone here who can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s NOT Batman!!

Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers

Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it’s up to me to lie in it.  I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere.  You don’t fight destiny, no sir!  And you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all… itchy. ~ The Tick

Leela: Didn’t you have ads in the 21st century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams.  Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games… and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky.  But not in dreams, no siree.
~ from Futurama

Fry: This can’t be happening!
Bender: It can and for all you know it is.
~ from Futurama

Now that you’re going off to war, I don’t want you to worry about your job. That’s why you’re fired. ~ from Futurama

“Say, Pooh, why aren’t YOU busy?” I said.
“Because it’s a nice day,” said Pooh.
“Yes, but—”
“Why ruin it?” he said.

[Stimpy puts the Happy Helmut on Ren]
Ren: [panicky] ‘ey!  What iz this?  Get it off me!
Stimpy: It’s the Happy Helmut, Ren.  Now you’ll always be happy!  And this is the remote control, and I use this button to control how happy you are.
Ren: YOU, SICK LITTLE MONKEY!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ren: All right, Stimpy.  He’s got us.  Give him back the five bucks.
Stimpy: [crying] I can’t! I’ve been bad, Ren.  You’ll smack me.
Ren: When have I ever?  Now go ahead.  Tell me what’s wrong.
Stimpy: All this talk about eating made me hungry.  I ate the five bucks.
Ren: [Slaps Stimpy] You stupid idiot!  You filthy worm!  You bloated sack!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ooooh, FREAK OUT! ~ Dexter Douglas, Freakazoid

Something smells like poo gas! ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Hans: Now, come.  We mustn’t linger.  It is not safe here at night.
Freakazoid: It’s day.
Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
~ Freakazoid

A Lawn Gnome: We are wise and cunning.
Another Lawn Gnome: We stole man’s fire and then tried to hide it in our pockets.
A Lawn Gnome: That was painful and dumb.  So we became even more cunning.
~ Freakazoid

If either of you ever again ridicule an over weight person, I will personally sit on you! ~ FatMan, Freakazoid

Bad guy: Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber.
Freakazoid: That’s because we make lots of things better than other people!
~ Freakazoid

I believe in superheroes.  I believe they are kind, righteous people who keep their word.  I admire and I respect them.  All except the Hulk fella, him I no like.  He’s got a bad smell.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, my daughter, she started dating a boy… not a Shriner.  When he come to da house for the first time, I take him to da garage, to show him my little putt-a-putt.  That’s what I call my little Shriner car, my little putt-a-putt.  When we get to da garage, this boy, his name is “Snortz” or something, he takes one look at my little car, and he starts laughing and saying: “What a stupid little car!  Hey mister, why you have such a stupid little dumb little stupid-car?  This boy!  He make fun of my little putt-a-putt in front of-a my daughter!  I felt the fool! ~ Mr. Fizzizzi, Freakazoid

Grim: How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground?
Billy: I blame it on the economy.
~ The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

I am the epitome of destruction… ~ gorilla to Samurai Jack


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quotes from cartoons, pt. 4

Somehow it’s been close to two months since our last installment of quotes from cartoons.  How did that happen?!?  I have been WAY too busy with work and stuff.  Well, there’s no time like the present, they say (but a couple of minutes ago probably bore a “striking” similarity).  Here’s some more quotes from various cartoons, which should bring back some good memories.  (If not, then you need to start watching cartoons and making those memories!)  Remember that saying them out loud in character and context (if you know it) makes it even more fun, especially if you’re in a public place and there’s people around.  Now let’s get to the quotes.  It’s in the same format as last time : I ramble on for a paragraph, then list a bunch of funny quotes.  🙂  Here goes…

Hey buddy!  Hey buddy!  Heeeeeeey BUDDY!  What do ya know? ~ Brak

I have a giant brain that is able to reduce any complex machine into a simple yes or no answer. ~ Space Ghost

Maybe next time you keep your stinkiness to yourself. ~ Ren, on Ren & Stimpy

Cosgrove: Hey Freakazoid, wanna go see a bear ride a motorcycle?
Freakazoid: DO I?!?

I don’t need no instruction manual to know how to ROCK! ~ Carl, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Woah, you consarn, ijit varmint! ~ Yosemite Sam

I’m overlookin’ a three leaf clover that I overlooked be-three. ~ Bugs Bunny, singing

I am Mojo Jojo.  People shall call me Mojo Jojo.  And it is I, Mojo Jojo, whom they shall be addressing when using the name, Mojo Jojo. ~ Mojo Jojo

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?”  Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.” ~ Charlie Brown, Peanuts

Mom wouldn’t care about these things if she wouldn’t keep finding out about them. ~ Calvin & Hobbes

Calvin: I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What’s misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I’m a genius.

Are you losing your hearing or are you just stupid? ~ Homer Simpson

In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics. ~ Homer Simpson

What’s done is done.  I’ve made my bed and now… I have to weasel out of it. ~ Bart Simpson

It’s not how you play; it’s how you win. ~ Dr. Freeze, Superfriends

I am your infant overlord.  Surrender now or I’ll poop on your lap. ~ Stewie Griffin, from Family Guy

Me Grimlock here to save universe. ~ Grimlock, The Transformers

Optimus Prime: Megatron must be stopped… no matter the cost! ~ Transformers, The Movie

The Lost Diamond of Disappearance, Skeletor must have found it. ~ He-man

Greetings Chum! I am the Tick, nigh-invulnerable superhero charged with defending “The City” against evil.  Along with my sidekick, Arthur, and my pet dog… err… rodent Speak, I stop the most diabolical criminal masterminds from carrying out their fiendish plots. ~ The Tick

Rugged, self-assured, adult… these are the words that describe the man who wears a mustache. ~ The Tick

So… humans have easily injured knees.  My race will find this information very useful indeed.  Muwahahahaha! ~ Morbo, from Futurama

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best–“, and then he had to stop and think.  Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.

So now welcome our keynote speaker, Professor Melvin Fenwick — the man who, back in 1952, first coined the now-famous phrase: “Fools!  I’ll destroy them all!” ~ The Mad Scientists Convention, “The Far Side”

Blackmail is such an ugly word.  I prefer “extortion”.  The “X” makes it sound cool. ~ Bender, from Futurama

Leela, enough. Our love has constantly been tested by your hatred, and now this. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama

Leela: I’m sorry you had to see that, Fry.  Usually I keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
Fry: Yeah.  That’s what I do with my stupidness.
~ from Futurama

Here’s a link to list the other posts in the series.  Lots of good stuff…  🙂

a letter from the editor

General greetings and such.

It is our mission here at Buffet o’ Blog to provide you with fresh, original randomness on a regular basis, free of charge.  It is our good pleasure to do so.  However, some of our regular readers might’ve noticed we recently had a couple of weekdays without posts, which is not normal.  There is a good explanation for this, though.  My work has become really busy, due to numerous crazy-long meetings.  It started Monday with a meeting from 12:30-4:30 (and I took only 10 minutes for lunch, let it be noted).  Tuesday we met in Little Rock (30+ minutes away) from 10:00-4:00, eating lunch during the meeting.  Then Wednesday we met from 9:00-4:30.  So besides sitting through all these meetings, I had some of my other work to take care of, which resulted in overtime.

Some of you may know that there are three writers here on staff, so why didn’t any of them fill in the gap?  Well, to put it succinctly, they’re slackers.  🙂  There is no other explanation available for them.  They both have lots of random ideas, which is why they were chosen to participate in this blog, but it turns out they’re slackers when it comes to preparing posts and sharing their randomness with the world.  That’s okay, though, because it’s their choice.

In the upcoming weeks, it has already been projected that I will have to attend more long meetings and work some overtime, and it is also projected that my sidekicks will continue to be slothful, but don’t worry — I will make the sacrifices necessary to keep providing you, the reader, with premium, original content.

If there are days where there isn’t a new post, feel free to browse the archives.  The old posts are still fresh, because they were created with lots of preservatives and stuff.  You can also participate in the latest free-for-all story.  The more who get involved, the more fun it’ll be.

In closing, that’s all.

Thank you, drive thru…

Batman

When I was little I wanted to be Batman…

But I wouldn’t want a useless sidekick like Robin, who has only one phrase in his attempts at humor, and it almost always falls flat.  And why doesn’t Robin wear pants?!?  Ugh!  Maybe you have to graduate to another level of superherodom to get pants.  I dunno…

Speaking of useless Superfriends, what was up with Aquaman?  He could talk to fish, but that proved to be hardly useful and always unnecessary.  And his other super “power” was making and throwing water balls at people when in the water.  Maybe it’s just me, but it doesn’t seem too dangerous to get people wet when they’re already in the ocean…