Warning : May contain more than your daily recommended allowance of randomness
Over the years, I’ve collected a number of funny pictures, and this series is where I share them with the world. If you have any comments on any of them, you’re welcome to add it.
(To see the other posts of funny pictures, click on the “Funny Pictures” category in the sidebar.)
One of my regular readers recently pointed out that I haven’t written an issue of viewer mail in a while, and what they said was true. There’s no good excuse for that, but to appease certain people, I’ll make an excuse anyway: I had stuff to do. 🙂
But enough rambling, well, rambling without a point, anyway. Let’s get to the viewer mail. As always, these are actual search terms that led people to this blog. I will provide answers, advice, skepticism, ridicule, or whatever is necessary in response to these phrases.
“survive a volcanic eruption” — I can help you here. The key for survival in that situation is to be far away. It’s really that simple. You really want to avoid the hot molten magma / lava, because it can burn through almost anything, including concrete and steel. So it’s best to be far away. And don’t try to cook marshmallows or hot dogs over the lava, because it can reach 2000 degrees; thus your food will melt, as will you.
cookies for breakfast — Some health nuts may say cookies are not a “breakfast food” or that they aren’t suitable for breakfast somehow. To that I say “hogwash!”. I have conducted my own extensive research in this area, and the results are conclusive that cookies make a great breakfast. Milk is a good beverage of choice to go with your breakfast of cookies.Well, that’s all we have time for today. I really do have stuff to do. 🙂 Be sure to check out the other issues of viewer mail for more answers to the stuff you’re searching for.
Somehow it’s been several months since I last wrote on the quotes from cartoons series. So now I will continue it, since it’s a good thing. For some of you, this brings back lots of good memories. If for whatever reason it doesn’t, then you should watch more cartoons. It’s really that simple. Cartoons are not just for kids. (Well, some are, but those are best ignored by all.) Anyway, let’s get started…
I’m afraid my sidekicks are copping an attitude. ~ Space Ghost
Whoa, Space Ghost, man! Crack a window, will ya! ~ Bobcat Goldwaith, on Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant. ~ Calvin
We demand that you bring this planet up to code! ~ Calvin and Hobbes
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. ~ Bart Simpson, on the chalkboard
Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’ ~ Homer Simpson
I’m sorry for making gravy in the bathtub. ~ Homer Simpson
Marge: Homer, I think we have someone here who can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s NOT Batman!!Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers
Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it’s up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere. You don’t fight destiny, no sir! And you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all… itchy. ~ The Tick
Leela: Didn’t you have ads in the 21st century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games… and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky. But not in dreams, no siree.
~ from FuturamaFry: This can’t be happening!
Bender: It can and for all you know it is.
~ from FuturamaNow that you’re going off to war, I don’t want you to worry about your job. That’s why you’re fired. ~ from Futurama
“Say, Pooh, why aren’t YOU busy?” I said.
“Because it’s a nice day,” said Pooh.
“Yes, but—”
“Why ruin it?” he said.[Stimpy puts the Happy Helmut on Ren]
Ren: [panicky] ‘ey! What iz this? Get it off me!
Stimpy: It’s the Happy Helmut, Ren. Now you’ll always be happy! And this is the remote control, and I use this button to control how happy you are.
Ren: YOU, SICK LITTLE MONKEY!
~ Ren & StimpyRen: All right, Stimpy. He’s got us. Give him back the five bucks.
Stimpy: [crying] I can’t! I’ve been bad, Ren. You’ll smack me.
Ren: When have I ever? Now go ahead. Tell me what’s wrong.
Stimpy: All this talk about eating made me hungry. I ate the five bucks.
Ren: [Slaps Stimpy] You stupid idiot! You filthy worm! You bloated sack!
~ Ren & StimpyOoooh, FREAK OUT! ~ Dexter Douglas, Freakazoid
Something smells like poo gas! ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid
Hans: Now, come. We mustn’t linger. It is not safe here at night.
Freakazoid: It’s day.
Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
~ FreakazoidA Lawn Gnome: We are wise and cunning.
Another Lawn Gnome: We stole man’s fire and then tried to hide it in our pockets.
A Lawn Gnome: That was painful and dumb. So we became even more cunning.
~ FreakazoidIf either of you ever again ridicule an over weight person, I will personally sit on you! ~ FatMan, Freakazoid
Bad guy: Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber.
Freakazoid: That’s because we make lots of things better than other people!
~ FreakazoidI believe in superheroes. I believe they are kind, righteous people who keep their word. I admire and I respect them. All except the Hulk fella, him I no like. He’s got a bad smell. Anyway, a few weeks ago, my daughter, she started dating a boy… not a Shriner. When he come to da house for the first time, I take him to da garage, to show him my little putt-a-putt. That’s what I call my little Shriner car, my little putt-a-putt. When we get to da garage, this boy, his name is “Snortz” or something, he takes one look at my little car, and he starts laughing and saying: “What a stupid little car! Hey mister, why you have such a stupid little dumb little stupid-car? This boy! He make fun of my little putt-a-putt in front of-a my daughter! I felt the fool! ~ Mr. Fizzizzi, Freakazoid
Grim: How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground?
Billy: I blame it on the economy.
~ The Grim Adventures of Billy & MandyI am the epitome of destruction… ~ gorilla to Samurai Jack
Site search tags: humor, humour, funny, quotes, quotations, cartoon, Space Ghost, Bobcat Goldwaith, sidekick, Calvin, Hobbes, Simpsons, Homer, Bart, Marge, Batman, Optimus Prime, Transformers, The Tick, Futurama, Leela, Fry, Bender, Winnie the Pooh, Ren, Stimpy, Freakazoid, Dexter Douglas, Cosgrove, gnome, Billy, Grim, Samurai Jack
I recently heard of a woman with the last name of Butts. (Bless her heart!) So I’d imagine in various circumstances she’s referred to as Mrs. Butts. Why does someone have the last name of Butts? Perhaps it used to not mean what it does today. According to my research (I actually did some, if a search with Google counts), it used to refer to a mark on a target in archery. And in centuries past, people often took on the name of their trade/occupation. But I’m thinking I’d change my name if that was my last name now — if not for my sake, for the sake of any children I might have. Can you imagine how much ridicule they would face going through public schools? They’d most certainly be the butt of many jokes…
I know, it’s not fair to have to change your name because the meaning of the word changed. But what can you do? Suppose your name was “wuss”. Would you change it or endure the ridicule for the rest of your life? I would consider it an opportunity to officially change my name to something really cool.
On a side note, in my research I learned that a “butt” is also “a large bulk-measure cask, with established volumes and quantities for various commodities in historic marketplaces”. I think it’s obvious why that measurement isn’t used anymore. Imagine going to a grocery story and asking for a butt full of flour. AWW-RIGHT! 🙂
Site search tags: humor, humour, butt, butts, name, ridicule, jokes, archery, measurement
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