Avast, ye bloglubbers! Today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, and all ye who refuse will henceforth be tied to the mast. ARRRR!
Yo ho ho, some scallywags on the TV said some Krispy Kreme stores will give you a free donut today if ye talk like a pirate. We be thinking that’s almost as good as finding a treasure chest. (Although, some Krispy Kreme stores will give you a free donut anytime they’re being made, but still, a free donut is a free donut.)
Ahoy, me hearty! Today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, which is a great, grand holiday indeed! Today you must talk like a pirate whene’er you get the chance. ARRR! To ye lily-livered landlubbers, don’t ye be afraid of this. It’ll make e’reyones day a bit more surreal. Aye!
Now I must get back to my swashbucklin’ out on the seven seas… ARRR! 🙂
In America, you’re free to name your baby whatever you want. For the most part, freedom is good; we don’t want tyranny. But some countries’ governments feel it is their duty to protect people from stupidity. A debate on whether that is good or not is beyond the scope of this article.
I started thinking about this because New Zealand just banned a number of baby names, including 18 that have been used in the U.S. (and some are popular). Some of them make sense for other countries, like King, Princess, Duke, Baron, Majesty, etc. Some are to prevent religious confusion or controversy, like Christ and Lucifer. Someone cross-referenced their list with the U.S. Social Security Administration’s database and found that 46 boys in the U.S. are named Christ, and 8 are named Lucifer. I just don’t know why someone would choose to name their child Lucifer. Seems kind of forboding toward evil… (That’s like naming your child “Important Evil Genius“, except even worse.)
Sweden has similar bans, although they extend it to names such as Superman and Metallica. U.S. celebrities are becoming known for giving their children weird names. A few examples:
Moxie CrimeFighter — child of Penn Jillette
Kal-El — son of Nicolas Cage
Pilot Inspektor — son of Jason Lee
Moon Unit, Diva Thin Muffin, and Dweezil — children of Frank Zappa
Pirate — child of Jonathan and Deven Davis
Tabooger — child of Dan Cortese
Tu Morrow — child of Rob Morrow
Having named a child now, part of the process process for us was trying to pick a name that people won’t make fun of too much. Obviously you can’t stop all teasing and bullying, but some of those above are just asking for it. Tabooger? Guess what his childhood nickname will be… And Tu Morrow? Imagine the awkwardness when everyone he/she meets has a short pause upon learning the name, realizing it’s supposed to be funny but it’s not and then you don’t know how to respond to that.
On a related note, you can go to the Social Security website to see how popular your name has been in America the past few decades.
One of my friends was playing around with his keyboard and some effects it had, like looping drum beats and having laughter tied to the synth part. He recorded it and sent it to me, just to show what he had done. It seemed to be lacking something, so I forwarded it to D.J. Funky Dogg, who added some music effects to it, along with various sound effects and vocal utterances (plus some, uhh, other utterances). It’s quite funny, if you find flatulence funny. So I’m providing the download link for those who enjoy such things. Just so you know, the file is about 1MB and the song is about 1 minute long.
First, a couple of disclaimers:
1) Obviously, if you are offended by the audible passing of gas, you should not download this free MP3.
2) If you are around people who can’t handle “potty humor”, you should listen on headphones.
3) If you are at work in a cubicle farm, go ahead and crank it up on your computer speakers — it’ll make everyone’s day a little more surreal. 🙂 (Though if folks think you’re uncouth, that’s yo’ problem!)
4) If you hurt yourself laughing, you don’t laugh often enough. Subscribe to this blog and review the archives for help with that.
5) If you laugh at this, you can forward the link to this post to your friends who also appreciate this brand of humor. That’s all we ask.
This track is released to the public “as is”, with no warranty expressed or implied. It is also free, and you cannot claim it as your own and try to sell it. If you do pirate this recording, we WILL find out and we’ll call J.G. Wentworfth to get our money NOW!
If you would like to have D.J. Funky Dogg remix your track, he is available for an exorbitant fee, although sometimes he will do things for us for fun (because we’re so cool and he diggs this blog), so you can send it to us via our contact form and we’ll see what happens.