real-life Transformer prototype

Wouldn’t it be awesome to have your own Transformer?  That is, a car that turns into a robot.  The possibilities are, as they say, endless.

We’re still years away from such technology, but at least there are people working on it.  The video below shows a toy-sized prototype transforming car/robot built by Kenji Ishida and JS Robotics.  (Turn the volume down because it’s louder than it should be.)

If we ever get this technology to be life-sized and usable, one obvious benefit would be the need for less parking spaces.  Your car could become a robot and go inside with you, to bring you snacks at work and do chores at home.  (We’re gonna have to be really careful with how much artificial intelligence (AI) we give it, based on movies.)

Oh, and I definitely want mine to have that classic transforming sound from the original (G1) Transformer cartoons in the ’80s!  If it has to be played through speakers, that’s fine.  It just sounds awesome.  Here’s an example.

NASA found extraterrestrial life – what now?

NASA announced last week that extraterrestrial life has been found… in California.  If you’re expecting a big, scary alien, you’re going to be massively disappointed.  It’s just some microscopic bacteria living in mud by a lake.  Although, as one scientist on TV pointed out, they look like potatoes if you zoom in enough.

Although, if evolution were true, then that bacteria could develop a brain and a body, and it might eventually enslave us all.   So maybe we should wipe it out now, while we are more evolved than it.  We might not have millions of years — some things mutate faster than others.  I’ve seen “documentaries” that show how crazy such things can get.  And you know the scientists that have this bacteria will expose it to all kinds of chemicals in their testing, and what if that’s all part of the plan?  What if a certain element on Earth gives it superpowers like Superman?  Someone has to consider these things…

Actually, we might need to fear more than just the aliens themselves.  What if some power-starved human or wild animal decides to join forces?  They might eat or absorb this alien life force and mutate into some super-human being!  What if they get super powers because of it?  The time to act is now!  And so we need a government grant to research and contain this.   I figure a few billion dollars would be sufficient — you can’t be too careful!

I know, some of you may wonder if the Buffet o’ Blog staff is qualified for such a task.  The answer is MOST DEFINITELY!  We would have the best weaponry possible, and we would contain (and potentially destroy) this alien life form.  We would also develop numerous “worst case” scenarios, along with the best plan of offense and defense.  And to test such systems before they are needed, we would run thousands of advanced computer simulations of us defending off alien invasions.  We are obviously the right people for this job.  So if the government will just send the necessary funds our way, we can get started on this most important task.

Somebody has to save the world…

bacon adds to life

I was watching a science program on TV the other night, and they were discussing how life might have begun on Earth.  (It’s funny to me that I know, yet so many scientists still don’t know.)  There are numerous theories / hypotheses, and one of the main ones is that life started by accident.  Supposedly amino acids in primordial soup collided with each other many times, until the right combination was formed to produce life.  (And I have to wonder — who was first, male or female?)  Amino acids are part of the building blocks of life.

The second widely-held theory / hypothesis is that an asteroid with frozen organisms deep inside crashed into Earth.  This would mean that we’re all aliens, and that life as we know it came from another planet.  But even if life came from another planet, it still had to start somewhere, somehow, since the Universe was formed by the Big Bang.

So let’s go back to the first theory.  Life had to start somewhere, obviously.  If colliding amino acids can create life, then you could create life by slapping pieces of bacon together enough times.  (You may think I’m being silly, but hold on.)  Bacon contains amino acids.  Actually, science explains that part of the reason we are attracted to the smell of bacon cooking is because of the chemical reaction of amino acids and reducing sugars.   (It’s called a Maillard reaction, if you wish to do further study.  That reaction also contributes to the taste of seared meat and roasted coffee.)  Of course, another reason we’re attracted to the smell of bacon cooking is because it smells awesome.

So since bacon contains amino acids that are essential to life, and life can supposedly start from the random collision of amino acids, then a simple formulaic proof could be constructed proving that slapping strips of bacon together can create life.  (Perhaps that Abstract Algebra class in college could be useful after all…)

Wow… the power of bacon!

Obviously a corollary to this new theory would be that eating bacon adds to your life.

176 tips to simplify your life

I happened to see the cover of some self-improvement magazine recently, and it said something on the front that made me look twice.   Look at the title of this article:

176 Tips to Simplify Your Life

Is that for real?  I’m all for simplifying life when possible and practical, but does it really take 176 tips?   While there may be that many aspects / facets of my life that could be addressed, that’s a LOT to consider at one time.   Perhaps they’d be better off putting just 5 tips per issue.   (And that way they wouldn’t run out of stuff to write on for a loooong time.)

Isn’t it really ironic that the quest to simplify your life can be so big and overwhelming?   It sounds more like an April Fools article than a legitimate self-improvement one.