flooding / a friend’s hooptie

Today it’s flooding here.  We’re been under a flash flood warning for a few hours.  Some of the roads are completely covered with water.  This makes it fun to drive around.  (And I’m not being sarcastic.)  Since I have a truck, it can handle standing water well.  This morning I was creating waves about 5 feet high, splashing the windshield of some of the cars in the other lane.

If little childrens happen to be outside playing in the rain, I can create huge waves that envelope them, where it’s like they’re at Wild River Country for free.  And who doesn’t like going there?  So it’s a good deal all around.

Of course, it’s not always flooding, so this is a limited-time opportunity.  However, I have a friend named Lyn who used to have a hooptie (i.e., clunker) of a car — a 1981 Ford Mustang hatchback — and it had an interesting feature : the windshield washer fluid would shoot out the side, several feet past the car.  It barely even hit the windshield.  He used to drive around town and shoot water on unsuspecting kids that were walking or riding their bicycle on the side of the road.  One time a boy was so surprised by it that he drove his bicycle off in the ditch and wrecked.  He would also do this to friends in parking lots when they walked up to the window to talk to him.

Speaking of that car, it was truly unique and unusual.  You might think it was nice because it was a Mustang, but this wasn’t a nice one.  It was grey, not shiny, and it attracted bird poop like you wouldn’t believe.  We never knew whether it was because the car was grey or if it was just because of his bad luck (because he was left-handed), but it was like birds would come along and carpet-bomb the car with their droppings.

Perhaps the worst “feature” of the car was that it had no power whatsoever.  It would go from 0 to 25 in 8 seconds.  That’s flooring it.  Seriously.  The time to 60 was really bad.  I’m not sure our stopwatch would go that high, though, and I’m fairly certain he didn’t want us to time it.  It had an automatic transmission, and there had to be some engine problems for its performance to be that bad.  It also smoked some and idled really, really high.  1981 was arguably the worst year for Mustangs.

But there was another good feature of that car — the audio carried a long ways.  In fact, I think the bass was louder outside the vehicle than it was inside.  That’s not ideal, of course, but when you’re in high school and wanting to impress folks with your sound system from a distance, that’s a good quality.

I could tell a number of stories about that car, but I’ll save them for another time, before this post gets too long…


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funny pictures, episode 3

Here’s volume 3 of funny pictures, which includes some photos related to current events like Easter, flooding, and Obama’s need of teleprompters.  Click on the photo for a larger version (when available).

Prime property with great view of river!  Hurry, this is a liquid market!
Prime property with great view of river! Hurry, this is a liquid market!
This job doesn't pay nearly enough!
This job doesn't pay nearly enough!
Obama is so dependent on teleprompters he has a seal for it.
Obama is so dependent on teleprompters he has a seal for it.
for when you're at an outdoor event and there aren't port-a-potties handy
for when you're at an outdoor event and there aren't port-a-potties handy
What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect of the law.
What we're dealing with here is a complete lack of respect of the law.

To see the other posts of funny pictures, click on the Funny Pictures category in the sidebar.

President Bush doesn’t care about white people

I’m sure you remember when Hurricane Katrina flooded New Orleans and thousands of homes were destroyed, and activists like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton were all over the TV news saying it’s President Bush’s fault, that he didn’t do enough about the insufficient levees and that he didn’t visit there quick enough and he didn’t get all the people out of the flooded areas.  Bush took a lot of blame for that situation, and some of the activists were saying he didn’t care about black people.

flood in the Midwest
flood in the Midwest

Well, now the Midwest has flooded, including almost all of Iowa.  Thousands of homes and businesses have been destroyed because of torrential rains plus broken levees, and it continues to get worse.  Also, thousands of acres of food crops were destroyed.  Was George W. Bush there the next day to visit?  No.  (He was in Europe, but maybe he should’ve got over here right away.)  Did he fix the levees before the storms to protect all those white people and their crops?  Nope.  Has he sent money to the people who didn’t buy insurance to protect their property?  No.  So what’s the deal?  Obviously, President Bush doesn’t care about white people.  It’s so clear now.  He is prejudiced against Caucasian-Americans and European-Americans.

But where is the outrage?  Millions of people have been affected by this flood in the U.S. Midwest, and where are the white activists?  Who will stand up for these people?  Doesn’t anyone care?  Who will hold Bush and the government accountable?

So by now you might have guessed that this is satire.  Although, the facts are based on actual news, and there is a parallel between Hurricane Katrina and the flooding in the Midwest.  But there was advance warning and predictions about what happened in New Orleans, Louisiana.  So why is one a greater outrage than the other among the political and racial activists?

You can draw your own conclusions…

Where is our rain?

Today is August 28, and it hasn’t rained here in Conway, AR, the whole month.  I’d call this a drought.  Yet certain neighboring states have been getting way too much rain this summer — such as Texas, Oklahoma, and Missouri.  They’ve been having problems with flooding.  And they’re just a few hundred miles away.  Why would they be getting so much more rain than normal?  Is it global warming?  Is it El Nino?  Some people want you to blame these crazy hypotheses.  But I’ve already given you the answer — obviously they’ve been getting our rain.  So the proper question is, why are they getting our rain?