Man Candles

There are now candles with scents aimed at men, who might not be interested in collections like “Water Inspirations” or “Citrus Passions”.

YANKEE CANDLE COMPANY, INC

Man Town™ – Escape to the man cave with this masculine blend of spices, woods and musk.

First Down™ – This combination of orange, patchouli, vetiver and leather is as exciting as game day.

Riding Mower™ – Hot sun. Cool breeze. And the intensely summery scent of freshly cut grass.

2 x 4™ – The warm, unmistakable scent of freshly planed wood and sawdust evokes a sense of confidence and quality.

Apparently this is for real, even though it sounds like a parody.  They cost $27.99 each.  I’m no marketing expert, but men typically don’t buy candles to start with, and that seems like a high price to gain entry into this market (if such a niche exists).

I don’t have any review samples, but let’s consider the candles anyway, just based on the descriptions.  I’m not sure I’d want one that smells like a man cave.  Let’s think about this logically.  If a man is single, his bachelor pad may already smell like a “man cave”.  And if he’s single, he likely isn’t buying candles.  If a man is married, he probably already has several years’ supply of candles at his house, and his wife likely would not approve of these smells anyway.

There is a nice aroma of a freshly-mowed yard, but I’m not sure I’d want that in the house.  Plus, you get that every week or so anyway from mowing the yard.

Some guys might like the 2×4 scent, but I doubt it evokes “a sense of confidence”.  I don’t know about the First Down scent, either, but I’m fairly certain a candle won’t be “as exciting as game day”.  That’s some marketing malarkey!  But this is no review, because I haven’t tried them.  Nor do I plan to, because I’m married and I never buy candles anyway.  But if you have experience with these, let us know.

Do you sing to your Christmas tree?

I like Christmas songs.  I enjoy the ones promoting the reason for the season (the birth of Jesus) as well as the more traditional ones that are more for fun.  But a few of the “fun” holiday songs make me wonder.  For example, why do we sing a song to a Christmas tree?   I’m referring to “O Tannenbaum”, or “O Christmas Tree”.

I don’t know what the official lyrics are to the song, because apparently there are many versions, with many verses.  Some of them have overt Christian meanings, while some are kinda weird taken by themselves.  Let’s look at a few of the latter variety.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
How faithful are thy branches!
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
Green not alone in summertime,
But in the winter’s frost and rime;
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
How faithful are thy branches.

Oh Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
Thou tree most fair and lovely!
The sight of thee at Christmastide
Spreads hope and gladness far and wide
Oh Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
Thou tree most fair and lovely!

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
You stand in verdant beauty
Your boughs are green in summer’s glow
And do not fade in winter’s snow
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
You stand in verdant beauty

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
How laden are your branches
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
Your presence here enhances
Your silver star does glisten bright
Reflecting all the candlelight
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree!
How laden are your branches

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
You fill all hearts with gaiety
On Christmas Day you stand so tall
Affording joy to one and all
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
You fill all hearts with gaiety

Based on those lyrics, I have to wonder why a song was written to a Christmas tree…  I realize there are a lot of silly songs that have been written, but this song has been popular for hundreds of years…

Help, my bathroom smells like crap!

If your bathroom stinks, a common practice is to light a candle.  But sometimes a single candle just doesn’t cut through the effervescence of flatulescence.  You could try lighting an array of candles, although you might not want to go through that trouble, or you might not have multiple candles available.  So here’s what you can do — just burn the whole candle at once.  That way, all the freshness gets released at once.

(Tip: It works better if the candle is not in a glass container.  Photo is for illustration purposes only.)

What would life on Mars be like?

Could there be life on Mars?  Scientists have long speculated (and continue to do so), although there’s more hope than ever.  They also wonder if humans might ever have a colony there.  But now the question is more like, “Would we want to?”

One of the reasons it’s improbable to find life on Mars is that the atmosphere doesn’t contain oxygen.  And it was thought that all organic life requires oxygen.  But a few years ago an organism was found that can live without sunlight and oxygen.  It’s a methanogen.  They eat hydrogen, breathe carbon dioxide, and belch methane.  A group of these were found in Idaho, living 660 feet underground.  They also exist in the digestive tracts of humans, causing gas.  If these bacteria are what life might be like on Mars, it might be a stinky place.

But there’s more.  Mars stinks naturally.  The surface of the red planet contains a very high concentration of sulfur.  Combined with other acids and minerals on Mars, it forms hydrogen sulphide (H2S), which is that rotten egg smell you may have experienced before.  And not only does it stink immensely, but it can cause headaches, and it is also explosive and poisonous.  So if you were living on Mars, you might be tempted to light a candle to reduce the stench (as some people are accustomed to doing), and KA-BOOM!

I’m thinking I’ll just stay here on Earth.  While there’s a few bad smells to deal with here, it’s not nearly so bad as it would be on Mars.


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