you must take breaks at work

Did you know that there are federally mandated breaks for workers?  That is, you’re supposed to get something like 15 minutes off for every 4 hours of work.  (Those numbers may vary; I can’t be bothered with research right now… too much stuff to do.)

By my reasoning, if you don’t take your two 15-minute breaks per 8 hour workday, then you’re breaking the law.  I mean, they are federally mandated, which means the government is telling you to do it.  So unless you want to be a criminal, you’d better be taking those breaks!

BTW, your employer might not mention that, because some places want you to work, work, work all the time.  But don’t let them strong-arm you into illegal practices.  Know your rights!  Knowing is half the battle!   (And in this case, goofing off for 15 minutes is the other half.)  🙂

launching a toilet into space

Speaking of the lottery, I was recently involved in a lunch conversation where some people were talking about being super-extravagant if they won the lottery.  At some point, the conversation somehow gravitated toward toilets.  (I have some friends that get really random!)  I don’t know how the topics merged together, but someone said they’d have toilets that get launched into space when they get stopped up, or maybe even just when they’re flushed.  I don’t think toilets were meant to be disposable.  Also, I’m not sure what they cost, but given how many times a flush is needed for a normal household per day, that might burn through the lottery winnings fairly quickly.

Besides, can you imagine Earth being surrounded by toilets in orbit?  There would be toilets (full of poop) crashing into satellites and burning up on re-entry in the atmosphere.  The more I think about it, the more reasons I come up with for why that’s a crappy idea.

But I do admit that seeing toilets launched from someone’s house repeatedly might be kinda cool… that is, as long as they achieve orbit and don’t come back down.  There’s many obvious flaws in the scenario of them returning to the ground.  As cool as it would be to see a toilet shatter*, it would cause some serious damage if it hit something.

* Mango-Man says he’s seen a toilet fall off a truck and shatter into a million pieces and that it was indeed cool.  Too bad he wasn’t prepared to capture video of it.  It’s not everyday you get to see toilets break.  (Actually, I know someone who says he breaks his toilet on a regular basis, but more in a figurative sense.)

I’ve probably said more about toilets in this post than you care to hear about, so I’ll stop now.  But for the few who want more, there is a popular post here about toilet facts, and there are other posts about toilets (such as the motorcycle that runs on poop and has a built-in toilet).  You can use the search function in the sidebar to find even more toilet-related nuggets.  Hmm, that might not be the best choice of words, but this conversation is already in the toilet, so what does it matter?  🙂

ultimate destroyer BBQ sandwich

I really enjoy watching Man v. Food on the Travel Channel.  Adam Richman is great as a host, and he can eat a mountain of food, but the food itself is even more impressive.  One episode I saw was about Kansas City, and I wish I had seen this before I went to KC a while back!

The challenge in this episode was a BBQ sandwich called Papa Bob’s Ultimate Destroyer.  It was huge, but also a little unusual.  It’s built on a 12″ hoagie bun, and the bottom layer of meat is a half pound of pulled pork, then a half pound of hickory smoked sliced pork.  All that is covered in BBQ sauce, then another layer of bread is added.  Next is a half pound of hickory-smoked ham and a half pound of hickory smoked turkey breast.  Then more sauce and more bread.  But wait, there’s more!  Next is 3 half pound hickory smoked hamburgers*, topped with sauce and more bread.  In case that’s not enough, there’s a half pound of brisket and a half pound of BBQ sausage, with, you guessed it, more sauce and the top of the hoagie bun.

It would be difficult to eat just the sandwich, with all that meat and bread.  But the challenge also includes 1 1/2 pounds of fries.  I would welcome some fries, because they go well with BBQ’d meat, but that’s a lot of starch in an eating challenge.  It’s probably part of the reason why no one has ever defeated the Ultimate Destroyer.  All together, the plate of food weighs 6 pounds.  If you don’t eat it, it costs $48.

I glanced at the release form, and it explains the sandwich and has the usual legal fine print.  I like how the small print starts out: “I AM FULLY AWARE THAT I AM ABOUT TO ATTEMPT TO EAT AN UNHEALTHY AND POSSIBLY DANGEROUS AMOUNT OF BAR-B-QUED MEAT AND SIDE DISHES.”  Dangerous indeed…

There are some other funny tidbits in the rules:
– No bathroom breaks; just sit there and eat & eat & eat & eat.
– Must keep all food down at least 5 (five) minutes after your last bite. If you launch it, you gotta clean it!! (floors, tables, chairs, parking lot, employees, customers, etc.)
– A Papa Bob’s Up-Chuck bucket will be provided at your table (just in case).
– Papa Bob’s is not responsible for anything mentally or physically that arises from eating the “Ultimate Destroyer”.

I think I’ll pass on that one.  Maybe if they have a smaller version…

* I’ve never heard of a smoked hamburger, but it sounds intriguing.  When Adam got to that part, he said it was tasty but a little dry, so he had to add sauce.  I’m thinking some cheese and Miracle Whip would help with it.  And of course, you might as well add bacon.  🙂  I’ve gotta get me a smoker someday…

the fun work atmosphere at Google

What is cubicle life like working at Google?  Apparently not too bad.  Check out this photo gallery for an idea of how it’s very different from your normal tech company.

It says they get three free gourmet meals per day.  And they have pool tables, swimming pools, and you can even get massages.  I’m thinking they should open an office in Arkansas…  🙂

If Buffet o’ Blog ever has corporate offices, it would be like that, but even better!  We’d have unlimited sweet tea for employees, fun breakout sessions for generating new humor and research ideas, ample breaks, Bacon Mondays (where people bring a bacon dish to share with everyone, to make the day better), and extra compensation would be based on creating new, original humor.  (It sounds strange to pay people more for being funny, but that’s what we do here — generate humor.   It’s a great job — well, if only it paid enough for me to be full-time!)