What is cubicle life like working at Google? Apparently not too bad. Check out this photo gallery for an idea of how it’s very different from your normal tech company.
It says they get three free gourmet meals per day. And they have pool tables, swimming pools, and you can even get massages. I’m thinking they should open an office in Arkansas… 🙂
If Buffet o’ Blog ever has corporate offices, it would be like that, but even better! We’d have unlimited sweet tea for employees, fun breakout sessions for generating new humor and research ideas, ample breaks, Bacon Mondays (where people bring a bacon dish to share with everyone, to make the day better), and extra compensation would be based on creating new, original humor. (It sounds strange to pay people more for being funny, but that’s what we do here — generate humor. It’s a great job — well, if only it paid enough for me to be full-time!)
I was recently visiting the in-laws around Christmas, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. One person was telling a story they heard on the local news about a couple who were burning trash outside their house but went inside, leaving the fire unattended, and their house caught on fire. That’s a tragic story, but they learned some “common sense” the hard way. Anyway, there’s no need to rant on that, since the moral of the story is quite obvious.
After that part of the story, an older country woman said, somewhat agitatedly, “Why were they burning trash outside?” That piqued my curiosity, as I was eager to hear some further explanation of that statement. I mean, where else would you burn trash? (Before anyone rushes to the comments to lecture on why people shouldn’t burn trash, I agree, but some people don’t have trash pickup and live in areas where burning stuff is still allowed.)
I looked around, wondering who would answer her question. I didn’t know what to say. There was a short pause (which is rare in those parts), and then the conversation went to a completely different topic. That was disappointing. Did everyone else just ignore her? I wanted to ask about it, but given the general atmosphere at the in-laws at the time, I didn’t want to stir anything up, so I left it alone. Nonetheless, someone should’ve at least jokingly asked her where she thinks you should burn trash. It was a missed opportunity.
Speaking of the lottery, I was recently involved in a lunch conversation where some people were talking about being super-extravagant if they won the lottery. At some point, the conversation somehow gravitated toward toilets. (I have some friends that get really random!) I don’t know how the topics merged together, but someone said they’d have toilets that get launched into space when they get stopped up, or maybe even just when they’re flushed. I don’t think toilets were meant to be disposable. Also, I’m not sure what they cost, but given how many times a flush is needed for a normal household per day, that might burn through the lottery winnings fairly quickly.
Besides, can you imagine Earth being surrounded by toilets in orbit? There would be toilets (full of poop) crashing into satellites and burning up on re-entry in the atmosphere. The more I think about it, the more reasons I come up with for why that’s a crappy idea.
But I do admit that seeing toilets launched from someone’s house repeatedly might be kinda cool… that is, as long as they achieve orbit and don’t come back down. There’s many obvious flaws in the scenario of them returning to the ground. As cool as it would be to see a toilet shatter*, it would cause some serious damage if it hit something.
* Mango-Man says he’s seen a toilet fall off a truck and shatter into a million pieces and that it was indeed cool. Too bad he wasn’t prepared to capture video of it. It’s not everyday you get to see toilets break. (Actually, I know someone who says he breaks his toilet on a regular basis, but more in a figurative sense.)
I’ve probably said more about toilets in this post than you care to hear about, so I’ll stop now. But for the few who want more, there is a popular post here about toilet facts, and there are other posts about toilets (such as the motorcycle that runs on poop and has a built-in toilet). You can use the search function in the sidebar to find even more toilet-related nuggets. Hmm, that might not be the best choice of words, but this conversation is already in the toilet, so what does it matter? 🙂
As I mentioned in the last post, I was recently in Branson with the in-laws on vacation for a weekend, and I knew the women would be doing some shopping. There’s a few outlet malls there, plus the newer promenade mall. I can take only so much shopping, unless it’s for electronics or games.
I was talking about this with one of my friends, and he had an interesting suggestion for something I could do while the women are shopping:
Find an all-you-can-eat buffet and try to make a day of it. If your wife mentions that you probably don’t need to eat that much, you can always reference the fact that she probably doesn’t really need to shop that much either. Tell her that the sooner she gets back from shopping to pick you up, that is the sooner you will stop eating.
I like this idea. It would tie-in with the idea of the last post where a store offers an atmosphere for men along with lots of nachos and other good eats. But even without such a place, there are plenty of all-you-can-eat restaurants in Branson. If my wife thinks I should eat less to help me lose weight, she can shop less, which will save money. So it’s a win-win situation!
I mentioned this idea to my wife, but she failed to see the logic of it…