funny pictures, episode 7

It’s been a while since I made of post of just funny pictures.  Today’s collection covers a wide range of topics: Apple’s iPad, Winnie the Pooh, swine flu, how (not) to clean computers, and Glenn Beck giving weather forecasts.   So it’s something for everyone.  (Well, there’s no explosions… or bacon… but maybe next time I’ll incorporate those, too.)

Someone got their hands on a pre-release iPad Pro...
For when you just can't find enough ways to express your nerdiness...
Proof that swine flu paranoia is out of hand.
Sometimes there just isn't a logical explanation...
Gotta do something to get rid of those dust bunnies...
I'm pretty sure this voids the warranty.
When Glenn Beck forecasts the weather.

You’re welcome to share any funny comments you may have about any of these pictures.

(To see more funny pictures, click on the “Funny Pictures” category in the sidebar.)

the special days of January, pt 2

Here’s part 2 of the special days and holidays in January.

  • 13 Make Your Dream Come True Day — Since making a big dream come true would probably take way more than one day, perhaps this means you should try to live your dream for just this one day.  While that sounds good, I don’t know how to get someone to pay me lots of money for playing video games and eating Cheetos all day…
  • 14 Dress Up Your Pet Day — Is this necessary?  I mean, if you want to dress up your pet, you probably already do.  If you don’t want to, you aren’t going to, even if it’s a holiday.  So whatever…
  • 15 National Hat Day — I know, most of you are probably wondering why I’m mentioning this.  Most of us don’t wear hats, so who cares?  But, consider this — what if you wear a pirate hat to work?
  • 16 National Nothing Day — This is more like it — a day for doing nothing.
  • 17 Ditch New Years Resolutions Day — I didn’t know there was an official day for it!  But it’s only halfway into the month — surely that’s not enough time for people to have lost their 15 pounds or so.
  • 18 Thesaurus Day — Using a thesaurus is a great way to expand your vocabulary.  It’s awesome, fascinating, inspiring, wonderful, spectacular, astounding, remarkable, etc.
  • 18 Winnie the Pooh Day — This is the birthday of Winnie’s author A.A. Milne.  Why do you care?  Well, you probably don’t, but it’s a good excuse for me to link to a sound clip you should listen to.  Note that it might have been modified (but I don’t know — somebody sent it to me, so I don’t know its origins).  It’s funny.
  • 19 National Popcorn Day — Mmm… cheese popcorn is scrumptious.  (And it’s about time for more food-related special days!)
  • 20 Cheese Day — Yeah, here we go!  Cheese is great.  On this day all restaurants should ask you if you want double cheese on your food as a free upgrade.  (On a side note, cheese should get a whole month.  Hopefully it does and I just haven’t seen it yet; otherwise someone should make it so.)
  • 21 National Hugging Day — This is a good idea, but that’s all I’m gonna say about it because we don’t get all sappy here.  🙂
  • 21 Squirrel Appreciation Day — Squirrels aren’t domesticated and thus don’t make good pets, but they can be fun to watch in the yard.  They can also be good to eat if cooked properly and covered in gravy.
  • 22 National Blonde Brownie Day — I’d never heard of a blonde brownie, but apparently it’s made with light brown sugar so it’s not as dark.  As long as it tastes good like regular brownies, I don’t care.  Brownies are scrumptious, especially when combined with vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup.
  • 23 National Pie Day — Hallelujah!  Eat lots of pie.  (Note that the diet from your New Year’s resolutions doesn’t apply on holidays, so take an extra helping and don’t feel any guilt.)
  • 23 National Handwriting Day — Um, I guess we are supposed to write everything manually on this day.  So don’t use your computer for any typing — you must write it all by hand.
  • 23 Measure Your Feet Day — Uhh… I thought holidays were supposed to be fun.  I don’t know the point of this, because I know the size of my feet and they aren’t growing anymore, so I looked online to see what I could find about this.  My research dug this up : “Celebrate today by measuring your feet.  Both of them.  Measure the length.  Then, measure the width.  For a little fun, see if you can measure someone else’s feet.”  That sounds like a great time… oh, wait, I’m too busy celebrating National Pie Day on the 23rd, so there won’t be any time for me to measure my feet.

I’ve been told that some of my posts are too long, so I’m going to break this up into 3 parts this month.

quotes from cartoons, pt. 7

Somehow it’s been several months since I last wrote on the series.  So now I will continue it, since it’s a good thing.  For some of you, this brings back lots of good memories.  If for whatever reason it doesn’t, then you should watch more cartoons.  It’s really that simple.  Cartoons are not just for kids.  (Well, some are, but those are best ignored by all.)  Anyway, let’s get started…

I’m afraid my sidekicks are copping an attitude. ~ Space Ghost

Whoa, Space Ghost, man!  Crack a window, will ya! ~ Bobcat Goldwaith, on Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant. ~ Calvin

We demand that you bring this planet up to code! ~ Calvin and Hobbes

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. ~ Bart Simpson, on the chalkboard

Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’ ~ Homer Simpson

I’m sorry for making gravy in the bathtub. ~ Homer Simpson

Marge: Homer, I think we have someone here who can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s NOT Batman!!

Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers

Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it’s up to me to lie in it.  I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere.  You don’t fight destiny, no sir!  And you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all… itchy. ~ The Tick

Leela: Didn’t you have ads in the 21st century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams.  Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games… and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky.  But not in dreams, no siree.
~ from Futurama

Fry: This can’t be happening!
Bender: It can and for all you know it is.
~ from Futurama

Now that you’re going off to war, I don’t want you to worry about your job. That’s why you’re fired. ~ from Futurama

“Say, Pooh, why aren’t YOU busy?” I said.
“Because it’s a nice day,” said Pooh.
“Yes, but—”
“Why ruin it?” he said.

[Stimpy puts the Happy Helmut on Ren]
Ren: [panicky] ‘ey!  What iz this?  Get it off me!
Stimpy: It’s the Happy Helmut, Ren.  Now you’ll always be happy!  And this is the remote control, and I use this button to control how happy you are.
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ren: All right, Stimpy.  He’s got us.  Give him back the five bucks.
Stimpy: [crying] I can’t! I’ve been bad, Ren.  You’ll smack me.
Ren: When have I ever?  Now go ahead.  Tell me what’s wrong.
Stimpy: All this talk about eating made me hungry.  I ate the five bucks.
Ren: [Slaps Stimpy] You stupid idiot!  You filthy worm!  You bloated sack!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ooooh, FREAK OUT! ~ Dexter Douglas, Freakazoid

Something smells like poo gas! ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Hans: Now, come.  We mustn’t linger.  It is not safe here at night.
Freakazoid: It’s day.
Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
~ Freakazoid

A Lawn Gnome: We are wise and cunning.
Another Lawn Gnome: We stole man’s fire and then tried to hide it in our pockets.
A Lawn Gnome: That was painful and dumb.  So we became even more cunning.
~ Freakazoid

If either of you ever again ridicule an over weight person, I will personally sit on you! ~ FatMan, Freakazoid

Bad guy: Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber.
Freakazoid: That’s because we make lots of things better than other people!
~ Freakazoid

I believe in superheroes.  I believe they are kind, righteous people who keep their word.  I admire and I respect them.  All except the Hulk fella, him I no like.  He’s got a bad smell.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, my daughter, she started dating a boy… not a Shriner.  When he come to da house for the first time, I take him to da garage, to show him my little putt-a-putt.  That’s what I call my little Shriner car, my little putt-a-putt.  When we get to da garage, this boy, his name is “Snortz” or something, he takes one look at my little car, and he starts laughing and saying: “What a stupid little car!  Hey mister, why you have such a stupid little dumb little stupid-car?  This boy!  He make fun of my little putt-a-putt in front of-a my daughter!  I felt the fool! ~ Mr. Fizzizzi, Freakazoid

Grim: How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground?
Billy: I blame it on the economy.
~ The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

I am the epitome of destruction… ~ gorilla to Samurai Jack

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quotes from cartoons, pt. 5

Once again it’s been a couple of months since our last installment of quotes from cartoons.  Well, I’m not gonna just sit around and do nothing (as tempting as that may sound).  I’m going to post another issue in our series.  Enjoy…

Welcome back, stupid viewers!  You’ll watch anything!  Go ahead, change the channel.  You’ll be back! ~ Space Ghost

Ex-cellent… ~ Mr. burns, on the Simpsons  (Editor’s note: I realize it’s a one-word quote, which isn’t much of a quote, but the way he says it is classic.)

My boloney has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R, my boloney has a second name, it’s H-O-M-E-R… ~ Homer Simpson

AHHH… Donuts… What can’t they do. ~ Homer Simpson

Going cold turkey isn’t as delicious as it sounds. ~ Homer Simpson

Spitwads are not free speech. ~ Bart Simpson, writing 500 times on the board

My polite indignation knows no bounds! ~ Apu, from The Simpsons

Psst… Hey Guido.  It’s all so clear to me now.  I’m the keeper of the cheese, and you’re the lemon merchant, get it?  And he knows it!  That’s why he’s gonna kill us! ~ Ren Hoek, from Ren & Stimpy

Stimpy: I know how you can be important.  I know how you can be really important.
Ren: Really?  How?
Stimpy: You can be the president… of my fan club!
Ren: President?  Wow!  President.
[Ren imagines he’s the President of the United States]
Ren: [Screaming on the phone] What do you mean you don’t agree with me?  Do you know who you’re dealing with?
[Pushes “The Button”; A loud explosion blows up a chunk of the world; Ren laughs maniacally]
Ren: [Back to reality] I’ll do it!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Thou doth possess a great wealth of ignorance. ~ Ren & Stimpy

I am ze locksmith of love, no? ~ Pepe Le Pew

Ain’t I a stinker? ~ Bugs Bunny

Happy, Happy.  Joy, Joy. ~ Ren & Stimpy

Monopoly is more fun when you make your own Chance cards. ~ Calvin

You know Einstein got really terrible grades?  Well, mine are even worse! ~ Calvin

You know Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help. ~ Calvin

I have looked in so many places that I am sure I am closer to its being found than it being lost. ~ Winnie the Pooh

The key to finding something is to look where it is. ~ Tigger

Unicron: I have summoned you here for a purpose.
Megatron: Nobody summons Megatron!
Unicron: Then it pleases me to be the first.
~ Transformers, The Movie

There will be no war today, Optimus Prime.  You have earned Galvatron’s respect. ~ Galvatron, Transformers

Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she’s pushing! ~ The Tick

So, Arthur, once again we find that you can’t disguise the foul taste of evil with artificial or even natural sweeteners.  The recipe for goodness is ever-elusive.  But here’s a little tip.  When a nice, clean brain tumbles to the dirty street, to lie among the discarded wrappers and spat-out gumwads of wickedness, you can’t just pick it up and wash it off.  You gotta THINK it clean from the inside out. ~ The Tick

By the power of Greyskull… I have the power! ~ He-Man

Kittens give Morbo gas. ~ Morbo, from Futurama

I’m never gonna get used to the 31st century.  Caffineated bacon?  Baconated grapefruit?  ADMIRAL Crunch? ~ Fry, from Futurama

Cubert J. Farnsworth: I understand how the engines work now.  It came to me in a dream.  The engines don’t move the ship across the universe.  The ship stays in place and the engines move the universe around it.
Bender: That’s a complete load!
Cubert J. Farnsworth: Nothing’s a complete load!  Not if you can imagine it.  That’s what being a scientist is all about.
~ from Futurama

I have no idea how to be black… you know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken. ~ Peter, Family Guy

Brain : I shall pollute the water supply with this DNAdefibuliser, turning everyone into mindless slaves.
Pinky : What about the people who drink bottled water?
Brain : Pinky, people who pay 5 dollars for a bottle of water are already mindless slaves.

If you’ve seen at least one episode from each of the cartoons referenced above, then you’re on your way to becoming a well-rounded individual.  If there’s some you haven’t seen, then you should start catching up.  Cartoons are great.

Here’s the link to the other entries in our quotes from cartoons series.