quotes from cartoons, pt. 7

Somehow it’s been several months since I last wrote on the series.  So now I will continue it, since it’s a good thing.  For some of you, this brings back lots of good memories.  If for whatever reason it doesn’t, then you should watch more cartoons.  It’s really that simple.  Cartoons are not just for kids.  (Well, some are, but those are best ignored by all.)  Anyway, let’s get started…

I’m afraid my sidekicks are copping an attitude. ~ Space Ghost

Whoa, Space Ghost, man!  Crack a window, will ya! ~ Bobcat Goldwaith, on Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant. ~ Calvin

We demand that you bring this planet up to code! ~ Calvin and Hobbes

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. ~ Bart Simpson, on the chalkboard

Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’ ~ Homer Simpson

I’m sorry for making gravy in the bathtub. ~ Homer Simpson

Marge: Homer, I think we have someone here who can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s NOT Batman!!

Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers

Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it’s up to me to lie in it.  I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere.  You don’t fight destiny, no sir!  And you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all… itchy. ~ The Tick

Leela: Didn’t you have ads in the 21st century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams.  Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games… and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky.  But not in dreams, no siree.
~ from Futurama

Fry: This can’t be happening!
Bender: It can and for all you know it is.
~ from Futurama

Now that you’re going off to war, I don’t want you to worry about your job. That’s why you’re fired. ~ from Futurama

“Say, Pooh, why aren’t YOU busy?” I said.
“Because it’s a nice day,” said Pooh.
“Yes, but—”
“Why ruin it?” he said.

[Stimpy puts the Happy Helmut on Ren]
Ren: [panicky] ‘ey!  What iz this?  Get it off me!
Stimpy: It’s the Happy Helmut, Ren.  Now you’ll always be happy!  And this is the remote control, and I use this button to control how happy you are.
Ren: YOU, SICK LITTLE MONKEY!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ren: All right, Stimpy.  He’s got us.  Give him back the five bucks.
Stimpy: [crying] I can’t! I’ve been bad, Ren.  You’ll smack me.
Ren: When have I ever?  Now go ahead.  Tell me what’s wrong.
Stimpy: All this talk about eating made me hungry.  I ate the five bucks.
Ren: [Slaps Stimpy] You stupid idiot!  You filthy worm!  You bloated sack!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ooooh, FREAK OUT! ~ Dexter Douglas, Freakazoid

Something smells like poo gas! ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Hans: Now, come.  We mustn’t linger.  It is not safe here at night.
Freakazoid: It’s day.
Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
~ Freakazoid

A Lawn Gnome: We are wise and cunning.
Another Lawn Gnome: We stole man’s fire and then tried to hide it in our pockets.
A Lawn Gnome: That was painful and dumb.  So we became even more cunning.
~ Freakazoid

If either of you ever again ridicule an over weight person, I will personally sit on you! ~ FatMan, Freakazoid

Bad guy: Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber.
Freakazoid: That’s because we make lots of things better than other people!
~ Freakazoid

I believe in superheroes.  I believe they are kind, righteous people who keep their word.  I admire and I respect them.  All except the Hulk fella, him I no like.  He’s got a bad smell.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, my daughter, she started dating a boy… not a Shriner.  When he come to da house for the first time, I take him to da garage, to show him my little putt-a-putt.  That’s what I call my little Shriner car, my little putt-a-putt.  When we get to da garage, this boy, his name is “Snortz” or something, he takes one look at my little car, and he starts laughing and saying: “What a stupid little car!  Hey mister, why you have such a stupid little dumb little stupid-car?  This boy!  He make fun of my little putt-a-putt in front of-a my daughter!  I felt the fool! ~ Mr. Fizzizzi, Freakazoid

Grim: How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground?
Billy: I blame it on the economy.
~ The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

I am the epitome of destruction… ~ gorilla to Samurai Jack


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quotes from cartoons, pt. 6

Do you know what today is???  Yeah, it’s Wednesday, but that’s not all!  Today you get another batch of quotes from cartoons!  It’s a good time.  And it helps you get over the midweek hump (as some say).  But what if it’s not Wednesday where you live (or on the day you happen to read this)?  That doesn’t matter at all!  These quotes are good every day.  They have stood the test of time.  They continue to be funny, humorous, random, silly, and so forth, regardless of time and space.  So enjoy them… (and if you’re a visitor here, check out the other posts in this series, as well as other random posts).

There’s somethin’ kinda NYEEEE about a kid who don’t know how to play baseball! ~ Foghorn Leghorn

Is it hot in here or am I sweatin’? ~ Brak

Moltar, release the taco! ~ Space Ghost

I will hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George. ~ from a Bugs Bunny cartoon

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~ Calvin

That’s the problem with nature.  Something’s always stinging you or oozing mucus on you.  Let’s go watch TV. ~ Calvin

FLUSSSSSH!  Whee!  Ha Ha Ha.  Mom, I’m done with my bath now. ~ Calvin

I’ve developed a new philosophy… only dread one day at a time. ~ Charlie Brown

Don’t toy with me, woman. ~ Homer Simpson

Quoth the raven, eat my shorts. ~ Bart Simpson

Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. ~ The Simpsons

Marge: Homer, where are you?
Homer: Uhh, I’m somewhere where I don’t know where I am.
Marge: Do you see towels?  If you see towels, you’re probably in the linen closet again.
~ The Simpsons

Well huzzah, huzzah.  I’ll just throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight. ~ Mr. Burns, from The Simpsons

Hook: Nobody would follow an uncharismatic bore like you!
Rumble: Hey!  Nobody calls Soundwave uncrasimatic!
~ Transformers, The Movie

Megatron: You’re either lying, or stupid.
Starscream: I’m stupid!  I’m stupid!
~ Transformers

I will rule the universe, even if I am the only one left in the universe. ~ Starscream, Transformers

And, isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway?  I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit. ~ The Tick

The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys.  When it’s used for evil, watch out!  But when it’s used for good, then things are much nicer. ~ The Tick

Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate. ~ The Tick, during spring cleaning

Man-At-Arms: You dare threaten her life?
Skeletor: I DARE ANYTHING!  I am Skeletor!
~ from Masters of the Universe

All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo! ~ Morbo, from Futurama

You win again, gravity. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama

Pathetic human race.  Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb.  Dewey, you fool!  Your decimal system has played right into my hands!  Ha ha ha ha! ~ Chief Giant Brain, in the library absorbing all of Earth’s knowledge, from Futurama

Human female: “All in all, this is one day that Mittens the kitten will not soon forget.”
Morbo: “Kittens give Morbo gas.  In later news the city of New New York is doomed.  Blame rests with known human professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny inferior brain.”
~ from Futurama

Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive.  In fact, I am the least non-competitive.  So I win. ~ Family Guy

For every pickle I find, I shall kill you. ~ Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

Stimpy: Hey, Ren, this horse reminds me of your Uncle Eddie.
Ren: Why is that?
Stimpy: Because he’s big and stinky.
Ren: Hey, you shouldn’t say mean things like that!  Didn’t you ever consider that this horse might have feelings?
~ Ren & Stimpy

Powdered Toast Man: Quick, man!  Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!
The Pope: Both of them?
~ Ren & Stimpy

BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?
~ Pinky and the Brain

You’re not a failure kid.  It’s just that your ideas are silly and dumb. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Well I’d better be going… For somewhere there are wrongs to right.  There are foes to fight.  There are little chunks of carrot in your teeth… I’d have that taken care of, it can lead to insanity. ~ Freakazoid

We’ve put together a little motion picture about Freakazoid’s origin.  It’s filled with action and adventure and even features a scene with a man wrestling a bear for no reason. ~ Jack Valenti, Freakazoid

Freakazoid: Cosgrove, how come you never got married?
Cosgrove: Because I like meat too much.
Freakazoid: You can be married and still eat alot of meat.
Cosgrove: I didn’t know that.
~ Freakazoid

By the way there’s a spooky cloud thing out here turning people into clown zombies.  I’d take care of that if I were you. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Ahhhhhhh scream with meeeee! ~ Guitierrez, when falling, Freakazoid

Freakazoid: [on the phone] Guess where I am.  I’m at your prison.  Me and my friends are gonna rescue the Douglas family and a mime and escape YOU BIG FATHEAD!  FATTY FATTY CHUNKY CHUNKY LARDFACE!
Russian Security Minister: Your death will be very painful.
[hangs up]
Russian Security Minister: Notify the prison authorities.  I want to deal with Freakazoid personally!
Steph: Freakazoid, you just insulted the security minister and gave him our exact location!
Roddy MacStew: What was the point, lad?  What’s your plan?
Freakazoid: [thinks a moment] OK, I know you’re gonna be mad but I forgot the rest of my plan.
~ Freakazoid

Who dare disturbs the Master of Masters, the Shogun of Sorrow, Aku? ~ Aku, to Samurai Jack

“How can I repay ya, lad?”  “Friends owe no debts.” ~ Samurai Jack, to Scottish warrior

Here’s the link to the other entries in our series.

quotes from cartoons, pt. 2

It’s time for part 2 of our tribute to cartoons.  We’ll use the same format as part 1.  Your side of the deal is to just sit back and enjoy.  If you want to do a little more, say the quote “in character”, and/or try to figure out which episode these were from.  Either way, just make sure you have a good time.  All the shows referenced by these quotes are funny.  (If you don’t enjoy cartoons, there’s something wrong.  You need to loosen up and try to enjoy life.  Do you get offended easily?  Perhaps you need to laugh more.  Laughing is good for your health — it’s like jogging on the inside.  So put aside your way-too-serious demeanor and enjoy the randomness presented here for you.)  With all that out of the way, let us begin :

It’s a beautiful day, but not as beautiful as me. ~ Johnny Bravo

Superheroes and evil twins go together like peanut butter and… EVIL peanut butter! ~ Earthworm Jim

I anything can’t do right since because pickles. ~ Spongebob Squarepants

[LASSIE: Bark! Bark!] “What is it, girl? [LASSIE: Bark!] There’s trouble at the ranch? [LASSIE: Bark!] Hmmm… trouble at the farm. [LASSIE: Bark!] You say Brak was bitten by a rattlesnake? [LASSIE: Bark!] Where is he, girl? [LASSIE: Bark!] He’s at old man Tibby’s farm? [LASSIE: Bark!] Farms have chickens. Corn! Let’s ride!” (Flies off) ~ Space Ghost

You know love is a happy time. All throughout the universe. It’s when the male part of the species goes to the female part of the species and says: “Hey, do you want to go on a date?” And then she would say: “Why yes, I’d like to go on a date.” If you’re LUCKY! And then you go to a restaurant, and she gets something called a salad. And then he gets a big piece of beef, that he eats. And that to me ladies and gentlemen, is LOVE. Kinda makes you cry, doesn’t it? ~ Brak

Hey you kids, get out of my moat, it was not meant to be played in. I must remember to destroy those kids after my breakfast has been eaten. ~ Mojo Jojo

It’s been brought to my attention that you’re not using both sides of the toilet paper. You’re wasting a ply. ~ Phil Ken Sebben, on Harvey Birdman

Ya know what? I’m happy. ~ Droopy

Yeah? Well, I talk LOUDLY and I carry a bigger stick. And I use it, too! WHAM! ~ Yosemite Sam, on foreign policy

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don’t realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. ~ Calvin

You know what I like to do when someone’s talking to me? I stare at the person’s chin. I’ll nod and respond to whatever he’s saying, but I keep looking at his chin and changing my expression. I look quizzical at first, then vaguely repulsed, and later, quietly amused. Then I’ll suddenly arch my eyebrows and blink a lot, and then I look skeptical and disbelieving. You get bonus points every time the person loses his train of thought. ~ Calvin & Hobbes

People pay more attention to you when they think you’re up to something. ~ Calvin

I don’t think Bambi Eyes will get you that flame thrower… ~ Hobbes

Boy, everyone is stupid except me. ~ Homer Simpson

Marge, the reason we have elected officials is so we don’t have to think! ~ Homer Simpson

Beans are neither fruit nor musical. ~ Bart Simpson, on the blackboard at school

It’s gonna take a lot of fireworks to clean this place up. ~ Homer Simpson, from The Simpsons

I am Adam. Prince of Eternia and keeper of the secrets of Castle Greyskull. This is Cringer… my fearless friend. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said… By the power of Greyskull! ~ Prince Adam (a.k.a. He-Man)

Wreck-Gar: Yes friends, act now, destroy Unicron. Kill the Grand Poobah. Eliminate even the toughest stain! ~ Transformers, The Movie

No force in the universe can stop me. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers

And so, may evil beware and may good dress warmly and eat lots of fresh vegetables. ~ The Tick

Life is a big wild crazy tossed salad, but you don’t eat it, no sir! You live it! Isn’t it great? ~ The Tick

I am mighty! I have a glow you cannot see. I have a heart as big as the moon, as warm as bathwater. We’re superheroes, man! We don’t have time to be charming! The boots of evil were made for walking. We’re watching the big picture, friend. We know the score. We are a public service, not glamour boys! Not captains of industry! Not makers of things! Keep your vulgar moneys. We are a justice sandwich, no toppings necessary! Living rooms of America, do you catch my drift? Do you… dig? ~ The Tick

The comments section is now open, if you want to share any memories or other thoughts inspired by these great cartoons.