Do you know what today is??? Yeah, it’s Wednesday, but that’s not all! Today you get another batch of quotes from cartoons! It’s a good time. And it helps you get over the midweek hump (as some say). But what if it’s not Wednesday where you live (or on the day you happen to read this)? That doesn’t matter at all! These quotes are good every day. They have stood the test of time. They continue to be funny, humorous, random, silly, and so forth, regardless of time and space. So enjoy them… (and if you’re a visitor here, check out the other posts in this series, as well as other random posts).
There’s somethin’ kinda NYEEEE about a kid who don’t know how to play baseball! ~ Foghorn Leghorn
Is it hot in here or am I sweatin’? ~ Brak
Moltar, release the taco! ~ Space Ghost
I will hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George. ~ from a Bugs Bunny cartoon
There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~ Calvin
That’s the problem with nature. Something’s always stinging you or oozing mucus on you. Let’s go watch TV. ~ Calvin
FLUSSSSSH! Whee! Ha Ha Ha. Mom, I’m done with my bath now. ~ Calvin
I’ve developed a new philosophy… only dread one day at a time. ~ Charlie Brown
Don’t toy with me, woman. ~ Homer Simpson
Quoth the raven, eat my shorts. ~ Bart Simpson
Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. ~ The Simpsons
Marge: Homer, where are you?
Homer: Uhh, I’m somewhere where I don’t know where I am.
Marge: Do you see towels? If you see towels, you’re probably in the linen closet again.
~ The Simpsons
Well huzzah, huzzah. I’ll just throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight. ~ Mr. Burns, from The Simpsons
Hook: Nobody would follow an uncharismatic bore like you!
Rumble: Hey! Nobody calls Soundwave uncrasimatic!
~ Transformers, The Movie
Megatron: You’re either lying, or stupid.
Starscream: I’m stupid! I’m stupid!
I will rule the universe, even if I am the only one left in the universe. ~ Starscream, Transformers
And, isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit. ~ The Tick
The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys. When it’s used for evil, watch out! But when it’s used for good, then things are much nicer. ~ The Tick
Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate. ~ The Tick, during spring cleaning
Man-At-Arms: You dare threaten her life?
Skeletor: I DARE ANYTHING! I am Skeletor!
~ from Masters of the Universe
All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo! ~ Morbo, from Futurama
You win again, gravity. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama
Pathetic human race. Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb. Dewey, you fool! Your decimal system has played right into my hands! Ha ha ha ha! ~ Chief Giant Brain, in the library absorbing all of Earth’s knowledge, from Futurama
Human female: “All in all, this is one day that Mittens the kitten will not soon forget.”
Morbo: “Kittens give Morbo gas. In later news the city of New New York is doomed. Blame rests with known human professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny inferior brain.”
~ from Futurama
Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive. In fact, I am the least non-competitive. So I win. ~ Family Guy
For every pickle I find, I shall kill you. ~ Stewie Griffin, Family Guy
Stimpy: Hey, Ren, this horse reminds me of your Uncle Eddie.
Ren: Why is that?
Stimpy: Because he’s big and stinky.
Ren: Hey, you shouldn’t say mean things like that! Didn’t you ever consider that this horse might have feelings?
~ Ren & Stimpy
Powdered Toast Man: Quick, man! Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!
The Pope: Both of them?
~ Ren & Stimpy
BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?
~ Pinky and the Brain
You’re not a failure kid. It’s just that your ideas are silly and dumb. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid
Well I’d better be going… For somewhere there are wrongs to right. There are foes to fight. There are little chunks of carrot in your teeth… I’d have that taken care of, it can lead to insanity. ~ Freakazoid
We’ve put together a little motion picture about Freakazoid’s origin. It’s filled with action and adventure and even features a scene with a man wrestling a bear for no reason. ~ Jack Valenti, Freakazoid
Freakazoid: Cosgrove, how come you never got married?
Cosgrove: Because I like meat too much.
Freakazoid: You can be married and still eat alot of meat.
Cosgrove: I didn’t know that.
By the way there’s a spooky cloud thing out here turning people into clown zombies. I’d take care of that if I were you. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid
Ahhhhhhh scream with meeeee! ~ Guitierrez, when falling, Freakazoid
Freakazoid: [on the phone] Guess where I am. I’m at your prison. Me and my friends are gonna rescue the Douglas family and a mime and escape YOU BIG FATHEAD! FATTY FATTY CHUNKY CHUNKY LARDFACE!
Russian Security Minister: Your death will be very painful.
Russian Security Minister: Notify the prison authorities. I want to deal with Freakazoid personally!
Steph: Freakazoid, you just insulted the security minister and gave him our exact location!
Roddy MacStew: What was the point, lad? What’s your plan?
Freakazoid: [thinks a moment] OK, I know you’re gonna be mad but I forgot the rest of my plan.
Who dare disturbs the Master of Masters, the Shogun of Sorrow, Aku? ~ Aku, to Samurai Jack
“How can I repay ya, lad?” “Friends owe no debts.” ~ Samurai Jack, to Scottish warrior