quotes from cartoons, pt. 7

Somehow it’s been several months since I last wrote on the series.  So now I will continue it, since it’s a good thing.  For some of you, this brings back lots of good memories.  If for whatever reason it doesn’t, then you should watch more cartoons.  It’s really that simple.  Cartoons are not just for kids.  (Well, some are, but those are best ignored by all.)  Anyway, let’s get started…

I’m afraid my sidekicks are copping an attitude. ~ Space Ghost

Whoa, Space Ghost, man!  Crack a window, will ya! ~ Bobcat Goldwaith, on Space Ghost Coast to Coast

Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant. ~ Calvin

We demand that you bring this planet up to code! ~ Calvin and Hobbes

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty. ~ Bart Simpson, on the chalkboard

Maybe, just once, someone will call me ‘sir’ without adding, ‘you’re making a scene.’ ~ Homer Simpson

I’m sorry for making gravy in the bathtub. ~ Homer Simpson

Marge: Homer, I think we have someone here who can help you.
Homer: Is it Batman?
Marge: No, he’s a scientist.
Homer: Batman’s a scientist.
Marge: It’s NOT Batman!!

Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error. ~ Optimus Prime, Transformers

Destiny’s powerful hand has made the bed of my future and it’s up to me to lie in it.  I am destined to be a superhero, to right wrongs and pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evil-doers everywhere.  You don’t fight destiny, no sir!  And you don’t eat crackers in the bed of your future or you get all… itchy. ~ The Tick

Leela: Didn’t you have ads in the 21st century?
Fry: Well sure, but not in our dreams.  Only on TV and radio, and in magazines, and movies, and at ball games… and on buses and milk cartons and T-shirts, and bananas and written on the sky.  But not in dreams, no siree.
~ from Futurama

Fry: This can’t be happening!
Bender: It can and for all you know it is.
~ from Futurama

Now that you’re going off to war, I don’t want you to worry about your job. That’s why you’re fired. ~ from Futurama

“Say, Pooh, why aren’t YOU busy?” I said.
“Because it’s a nice day,” said Pooh.
“Yes, but—”
“Why ruin it?” he said.

[Stimpy puts the Happy Helmut on Ren]
Ren: [panicky] ‘ey!  What iz this?  Get it off me!
Stimpy: It’s the Happy Helmut, Ren.  Now you’ll always be happy!  And this is the remote control, and I use this button to control how happy you are.
Ren: YOU, SICK LITTLE MONKEY!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ren: All right, Stimpy.  He’s got us.  Give him back the five bucks.
Stimpy: [crying] I can’t! I’ve been bad, Ren.  You’ll smack me.
Ren: When have I ever?  Now go ahead.  Tell me what’s wrong.
Stimpy: All this talk about eating made me hungry.  I ate the five bucks.
Ren: [Slaps Stimpy] You stupid idiot!  You filthy worm!  You bloated sack!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Ooooh, FREAK OUT! ~ Dexter Douglas, Freakazoid

Something smells like poo gas! ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Hans: Now, come.  We mustn’t linger.  It is not safe here at night.
Freakazoid: It’s day.
Hans: Well, then, I suppose we can linger for a moment.
~ Freakazoid

A Lawn Gnome: We are wise and cunning.
Another Lawn Gnome: We stole man’s fire and then tried to hide it in our pockets.
A Lawn Gnome: That was painful and dumb.  So we became even more cunning.
~ Freakazoid

If either of you ever again ridicule an over weight person, I will personally sit on you! ~ FatMan, Freakazoid

Bad guy: Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber.
Freakazoid: That’s because we make lots of things better than other people!
~ Freakazoid

I believe in superheroes.  I believe they are kind, righteous people who keep their word.  I admire and I respect them.  All except the Hulk fella, him I no like.  He’s got a bad smell.  Anyway, a few weeks ago, my daughter, she started dating a boy… not a Shriner.  When he come to da house for the first time, I take him to da garage, to show him my little putt-a-putt.  That’s what I call my little Shriner car, my little putt-a-putt.  When we get to da garage, this boy, his name is “Snortz” or something, he takes one look at my little car, and he starts laughing and saying: “What a stupid little car!  Hey mister, why you have such a stupid little dumb little stupid-car?  This boy!  He make fun of my little putt-a-putt in front of-a my daughter!  I felt the fool! ~ Mr. Fizzizzi, Freakazoid

Grim: How come every time I take you kids to the mall it burns to the ground?
Billy: I blame it on the economy.
~ The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy

I am the epitome of destruction… ~ gorilla to Samurai Jack


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quotes from cartoons, pt. 6

Do you know what today is???  Yeah, it’s Wednesday, but that’s not all!  Today you get another batch of quotes from cartoons!  It’s a good time.  And it helps you get over the midweek hump (as some say).  But what if it’s not Wednesday where you live (or on the day you happen to read this)?  That doesn’t matter at all!  These quotes are good every day.  They have stood the test of time.  They continue to be funny, humorous, random, silly, and so forth, regardless of time and space.  So enjoy them… (and if you’re a visitor here, check out the other posts in this series, as well as other random posts).

There’s somethin’ kinda NYEEEE about a kid who don’t know how to play baseball! ~ Foghorn Leghorn

Is it hot in here or am I sweatin’? ~ Brak

Moltar, release the taco! ~ Space Ghost

I will hug him, and squeeze him, and call him George. ~ from a Bugs Bunny cartoon

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~ Calvin

That’s the problem with nature.  Something’s always stinging you or oozing mucus on you.  Let’s go watch TV. ~ Calvin

FLUSSSSSH!  Whee!  Ha Ha Ha.  Mom, I’m done with my bath now. ~ Calvin

I’ve developed a new philosophy… only dread one day at a time. ~ Charlie Brown

Don’t toy with me, woman. ~ Homer Simpson

Quoth the raven, eat my shorts. ~ Bart Simpson

Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons. ~ The Simpsons

Marge: Homer, where are you?
Homer: Uhh, I’m somewhere where I don’t know where I am.
Marge: Do you see towels?  If you see towels, you’re probably in the linen closet again.
~ The Simpsons

Well huzzah, huzzah.  I’ll just throw back my legs and pollute my britches with delight. ~ Mr. Burns, from The Simpsons

Hook: Nobody would follow an uncharismatic bore like you!
Rumble: Hey!  Nobody calls Soundwave uncrasimatic!
~ Transformers, The Movie

Megatron: You’re either lying, or stupid.
Starscream: I’m stupid!  I’m stupid!
~ Transformers

I will rule the universe, even if I am the only one left in the universe. ~ Starscream, Transformers

And, isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway?  I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit. ~ The Tick

The human mind is a dangerous plaything, boys.  When it’s used for evil, watch out!  But when it’s used for good, then things are much nicer. ~ The Tick

Ah savory cheese puffs, made inedible by time and fate. ~ The Tick, during spring cleaning

Man-At-Arms: You dare threaten her life?
Skeletor: I DARE ANYTHING!  I am Skeletor!
~ from Masters of the Universe

All humans are vermin in the eyes of Morbo! ~ Morbo, from Futurama

You win again, gravity. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama

Pathetic human race.  Arranging their knowledge by category just made it easier to absorb.  Dewey, you fool!  Your decimal system has played right into my hands!  Ha ha ha ha! ~ Chief Giant Brain, in the library absorbing all of Earth’s knowledge, from Futurama

Human female: “All in all, this is one day that Mittens the kitten will not soon forget.”
Morbo: “Kittens give Morbo gas.  In later news the city of New New York is doomed.  Blame rests with known human professor Hubert Farnsworth and his tiny inferior brain.”
~ from Futurama

Brian Griffin: Face it Peter, you get competitive about everything.
Peter Griffin: I am so not competitive.  In fact, I am the least non-competitive.  So I win. ~ Family Guy

For every pickle I find, I shall kill you. ~ Stewie Griffin, Family Guy

Stimpy: Hey, Ren, this horse reminds me of your Uncle Eddie.
Ren: Why is that?
Stimpy: Because he’s big and stinky.
Ren: Hey, you shouldn’t say mean things like that!  Didn’t you ever consider that this horse might have feelings?
~ Ren & Stimpy

Powdered Toast Man: Quick, man!  Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!
The Pope: Both of them?
~ Ren & Stimpy

BRAIN: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
PINKY: I think so, Brain, but where are we going to find a duck and a hose at this hour?
~ Pinky and the Brain

You’re not a failure kid.  It’s just that your ideas are silly and dumb. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Well I’d better be going… For somewhere there are wrongs to right.  There are foes to fight.  There are little chunks of carrot in your teeth… I’d have that taken care of, it can lead to insanity. ~ Freakazoid

We’ve put together a little motion picture about Freakazoid’s origin.  It’s filled with action and adventure and even features a scene with a man wrestling a bear for no reason. ~ Jack Valenti, Freakazoid

Freakazoid: Cosgrove, how come you never got married?
Cosgrove: Because I like meat too much.
Freakazoid: You can be married and still eat alot of meat.
Cosgrove: I didn’t know that.
~ Freakazoid

By the way there’s a spooky cloud thing out here turning people into clown zombies.  I’d take care of that if I were you. ~ Cosgrove, Freakazoid

Ahhhhhhh scream with meeeee! ~ Guitierrez, when falling, Freakazoid

Freakazoid: [on the phone] Guess where I am.  I’m at your prison.  Me and my friends are gonna rescue the Douglas family and a mime and escape YOU BIG FATHEAD!  FATTY FATTY CHUNKY CHUNKY LARDFACE!
Russian Security Minister: Your death will be very painful.
[hangs up]
Russian Security Minister: Notify the prison authorities.  I want to deal with Freakazoid personally!
Steph: Freakazoid, you just insulted the security minister and gave him our exact location!
Roddy MacStew: What was the point, lad?  What’s your plan?
Freakazoid: [thinks a moment] OK, I know you’re gonna be mad but I forgot the rest of my plan.
~ Freakazoid

Who dare disturbs the Master of Masters, the Shogun of Sorrow, Aku? ~ Aku, to Samurai Jack

“How can I repay ya, lad?”  “Friends owe no debts.” ~ Samurai Jack, to Scottish warrior

Here’s the link to the other entries in our series.

quotes from cartoons, pt. 5

Once again it’s been a couple of months since our last installment of quotes from cartoons.  Well, I’m not gonna just sit around and do nothing (as tempting as that may sound).  I’m going to post another issue in our series.  Enjoy…

Welcome back, stupid viewers!  You’ll watch anything!  Go ahead, change the channel.  You’ll be back! ~ Space Ghost

Ex-cellent… ~ Mr. burns, on the Simpsons  (Editor’s note: I realize it’s a one-word quote, which isn’t much of a quote, but the way he says it is classic.)

My boloney has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R, my boloney has a second name, it’s H-O-M-E-R… ~ Homer Simpson

AHHH… Donuts… What can’t they do. ~ Homer Simpson

Going cold turkey isn’t as delicious as it sounds. ~ Homer Simpson

Spitwads are not free speech. ~ Bart Simpson, writing 500 times on the board

My polite indignation knows no bounds! ~ Apu, from The Simpsons

Psst… Hey Guido.  It’s all so clear to me now.  I’m the keeper of the cheese, and you’re the lemon merchant, get it?  And he knows it!  That’s why he’s gonna kill us! ~ Ren Hoek, from Ren & Stimpy

Stimpy: I know how you can be important.  I know how you can be really important.
Ren: Really?  How?
Stimpy: You can be the president… of my fan club!
Ren: President?  Wow!  President.
[Ren imagines he’s the President of the United States]
Ren: [Screaming on the phone] What do you mean you don’t agree with me?  Do you know who you’re dealing with?
[Pushes “The Button”; A loud explosion blows up a chunk of the world; Ren laughs maniacally]
Ren: [Back to reality] I’ll do it!
~ Ren & Stimpy

Thou doth possess a great wealth of ignorance. ~ Ren & Stimpy

I am ze locksmith of love, no? ~ Pepe Le Pew

Ain’t I a stinker? ~ Bugs Bunny

Happy, Happy.  Joy, Joy. ~ Ren & Stimpy

Monopoly is more fun when you make your own Chance cards. ~ Calvin

You know Einstein got really terrible grades?  Well, mine are even worse! ~ Calvin

You know Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don’t help. ~ Calvin

I have looked in so many places that I am sure I am closer to its being found than it being lost. ~ Winnie the Pooh

The key to finding something is to look where it is. ~ Tigger

Unicron: I have summoned you here for a purpose.
Megatron: Nobody summons Megatron!
Unicron: Then it pleases me to be the first.
~ Transformers, The Movie

There will be no war today, Optimus Prime.  You have earned Galvatron’s respect. ~ Galvatron, Transformers

Yes, destiny has her hand on my back, and she’s pushing! ~ The Tick

So, Arthur, once again we find that you can’t disguise the foul taste of evil with artificial or even natural sweeteners.  The recipe for goodness is ever-elusive.  But here’s a little tip.  When a nice, clean brain tumbles to the dirty street, to lie among the discarded wrappers and spat-out gumwads of wickedness, you can’t just pick it up and wash it off.  You gotta THINK it clean from the inside out. ~ The Tick

By the power of Greyskull… I have the power! ~ He-Man

Kittens give Morbo gas. ~ Morbo, from Futurama

I’m never gonna get used to the 31st century.  Caffineated bacon?  Baconated grapefruit?  ADMIRAL Crunch? ~ Fry, from Futurama

Cubert J. Farnsworth: I understand how the engines work now.  It came to me in a dream.  The engines don’t move the ship across the universe.  The ship stays in place and the engines move the universe around it.
Bender: That’s a complete load!
Cubert J. Farnsworth: Nothing’s a complete load!  Not if you can imagine it.  That’s what being a scientist is all about.
~ from Futurama

I have no idea how to be black… you know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken. ~ Peter, Family Guy

Brain : I shall pollute the water supply with this DNAdefibuliser, turning everyone into mindless slaves.
Pinky : What about the people who drink bottled water?
Brain : Pinky, people who pay 5 dollars for a bottle of water are already mindless slaves.

If you’ve seen at least one episode from each of the cartoons referenced above, then you’re on your way to becoming a well-rounded individual.  If there’s some you haven’t seen, then you should start catching up.  Cartoons are great.

Here’s the link to the other entries in our quotes from cartoons series.

quotes from cartoons, pt. 4

Somehow it’s been close to two months since our last installment of quotes from cartoons.  How did that happen?!?  I have been WAY too busy with work and stuff.  Well, there’s no time like the present, they say (but a couple of minutes ago probably bore a “striking” similarity).  Here’s some more quotes from various cartoons, which should bring back some good memories.  (If not, then you need to start watching cartoons and making those memories!)  Remember that saying them out loud in character and context (if you know it) makes it even more fun, especially if you’re in a public place and there’s people around.  Now let’s get to the quotes.  It’s in the same format as last time : I ramble on for a paragraph, then list a bunch of funny quotes.  🙂  Here goes…

Hey buddy!  Hey buddy!  Heeeeeeey BUDDY!  What do ya know? ~ Brak

I have a giant brain that is able to reduce any complex machine into a simple yes or no answer. ~ Space Ghost

Maybe next time you keep your stinkiness to yourself. ~ Ren, on Ren & Stimpy

Cosgrove: Hey Freakazoid, wanna go see a bear ride a motorcycle?
Freakazoid: DO I?!?

I don’t need no instruction manual to know how to ROCK! ~ Carl, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Woah, you consarn, ijit varmint! ~ Yosemite Sam

I’m overlookin’ a three leaf clover that I overlooked be-three. ~ Bugs Bunny, singing

I am Mojo Jojo.  People shall call me Mojo Jojo.  And it is I, Mojo Jojo, whom they shall be addressing when using the name, Mojo Jojo. ~ Mojo Jojo

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?”  Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.” ~ Charlie Brown, Peanuts

Mom wouldn’t care about these things if she wouldn’t keep finding out about them. ~ Calvin & Hobbes

Calvin: I’m a genius, but I’m a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What’s misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I’m a genius.

Are you losing your hearing or are you just stupid? ~ Homer Simpson

In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics. ~ Homer Simpson

What’s done is done.  I’ve made my bed and now… I have to weasel out of it. ~ Bart Simpson

It’s not how you play; it’s how you win. ~ Dr. Freeze, Superfriends

I am your infant overlord.  Surrender now or I’ll poop on your lap. ~ Stewie Griffin, from Family Guy

Me Grimlock here to save universe. ~ Grimlock, The Transformers

Optimus Prime: Megatron must be stopped… no matter the cost! ~ Transformers, The Movie

The Lost Diamond of Disappearance, Skeletor must have found it. ~ He-man

Greetings Chum! I am the Tick, nigh-invulnerable superhero charged with defending “The City” against evil.  Along with my sidekick, Arthur, and my pet dog… err… rodent Speak, I stop the most diabolical criminal masterminds from carrying out their fiendish plots. ~ The Tick

Rugged, self-assured, adult… these are the words that describe the man who wears a mustache. ~ The Tick

So… humans have easily injured knees.  My race will find this information very useful indeed.  Muwahahahaha! ~ Morbo, from Futurama

“Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best–“, and then he had to stop and think.  Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.

So now welcome our keynote speaker, Professor Melvin Fenwick — the man who, back in 1952, first coined the now-famous phrase: “Fools!  I’ll destroy them all!” ~ The Mad Scientists Convention, “The Far Side”

Blackmail is such an ugly word.  I prefer “extortion”.  The “X” makes it sound cool. ~ Bender, from Futurama

Leela, enough. Our love has constantly been tested by your hatred, and now this. ~ Captain Zapp Brannigan, from Futurama

Leela: I’m sorry you had to see that, Fry.  Usually I keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
Fry: Yeah.  That’s what I do with my stupidness.
~ from Futurama

Here’s a link to list the other posts in the series.  Lots of good stuff…  🙂